Editor's Note:Here she is folks. You asked for her and now you've got her. We proudly present America's reigning society gossipist, Ms Anne Wiggworthy-Smythe.
She returns now, having promised to provide *.* Star Dot Star, the Magazine, with the hottest gossip on the planet from the depths of yankdom's most sophisticated society circles - Somers Point, NJ; Morristown, Tennessee; Kissimee, Florida and the like.
The Secret Order of the Save the Clavicle Foundation had its 59th Annual "Upper Crust Tea" this week. The Tea is a very special function of the SOSCF because women considered worthy by the Sisterhood are welcomed and entertained, and, of course JUDGED by the SOSCF Upper Crust.
| "It's not that we're snobs... Good Heavens how we loathe and despise
snobbery," said Mrs Canduce Barclay-Tripp. Mrs Barclay-Tripp is, of course, wife of John "Power Tripp"
of "Tripp the Lane Fantastic Bowling Emporium" fame. And, of course, she's also Vice President of the
group. "But there are some assets a woman should possess in order to be a member of this foundation." This reporter wanted to reveal several of those assets, but |
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was rebuffed with a most definitive "NO!" by Mrs Power-Tripp, who is also spokesperson for SOSCF in the absence of Ms Fawn Uppington-Ding, while the latter is on vacation.
Ms and Mr Uppington-Ding are making their annual trek (digitally-photographed, of course) to one of the United States of America's more scenic get-away-spots, beautiful Secaucus NJ.
Following the business meeting, the lucky and hopeful guests were presented and welcomed most warmly and with regal aplomb.
The Hopeful Inductees - A bevy of youthful charm.
At which point, of course, The Upper Crust Tea was served. Oh! Didn't the spread look divine! The Crust Committee had done a lovely job! Though we were at the home of Ms Brenda Gurney-Browne (widow of the late and much lamented, HJ "Clown" Browne, owner-operator of Drown the Clown Seafood Drive-in Restaurants fame) Brenda nevertheless hadn't had time to do anything.
Nothing, that is, except get her rumpus-room ready for the group. And my! It certainly looked to me as though Brenda had gone ALL OUT!!! The fragrance of lemon Pledge was everywhere and we certainly could see our faces in the shine. She had the Formica tables gleaming also - it seems she discovered that Crisco shortening, mind you, really turns Formica from dull to dazzling!
| Her elegant carpet, made from sample squares was clever, especially since
the walls were covered the same way. My! The co-ordination! The ceiling was that new "globs of plaster"
look. We were so impressed with Mrs Clown-Browne. She had cleverly placed plastic flowers around a large statue of a matador in one corner, while it appeared there were several large flamingoes and ducks walking in the other corner of the room. We were most comfortable on those lovely bean-bag chairs and had rousing fun on her two portable hammocks. |
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Let us not ignore, however, the pool table - laden, as it were with incredible delights such as CHEEZWHIZ on Ritz Crackers, pig's knuckles and feet, a huge bowl of cottage cheese and sardine dip, a bowl of Tootsie Pops (all grape flavor) and sliced Kohlrabi for dipping.
And that was only the appetizers. There was also spaghetti and tuna balls, chicken fat and okra spread (also on a Ritz), and of course, the Foundation favorite, M&Ms and red licorice. But ah! The piece de resistance - hot, spiced tea. How clever of The Crust Committee to think of using the red licorice sticks, cut in half (on the diagonal, of course!!) as stirring straws!
Will the ingenuity never cease?!?!?!?
The Foundation's Annual Weenie Roast and Tag Sale to benefit the polo league - its ponies and players - is the SOSCF's next Do. "We are certainly looking forward to that with fervor," Ms Tripp elatedly noted. "I'm certain that our perspective members were heavily impressed with our Upper-Crust Tea. I'm sure a good time was had by all", she concluded enthusiastically!
Editor's Note: Not had your fill?
Not to worry, AW-S will be back soon with some more of the hottest gossip in the States. If you have some gossip to share with AW-S, feel free to do so by clicking here.
But in the meantime you might wish to check out some of the following books, filled with political, society and other types of gossip. To order from Amazon.co.uk, simply click on the link:
Scorpion Tongues : Gossip, Celebrity, and American Politics by Gail Collins
Grooming, Gossip and the Evolution of Language by Robin Dunbar
Hollywood Babble on : Stars Gossip About Stars by Boze Hadleigh
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